I used to say that I had an "open marriage" but I really need to stop that.
I met my current wife via Yahoo Personals (back when they were free). She was a Domme advertising for subs. We met for dinner and, rather than doing any D/s, she said that we should be on equal ground to begin. This sounded good and that set the tone of our relationship from that first time together.
We played... a bit... over our first couple years together. Unfortunately, I found it really hard to submit to her. I had been in a completely uneven relationship and giving up power to someone I wanted to respect me and treat me right just wasn't in the cards. Moreover, I just wasn't a fan of her style of Domination. She was really into tying me up and leaving. I'm not not into abandonment. If anything, I need to be coddled and talked to the entire session. Being left isn't a thrill. It pisses me off.
In short, it was a bit of a disaster.
As I was seeing someone else at this time, it was decided that I would sub to this other person while my girlfriend (soon to be fiance) would have submissives over on occasion. This became our "Wednesday Night Thing." I'd drive over to my Domme while she'd have subbies in. I'd come home around 10 o'clock and we'd be good.
After I broke up with my Domme, the subbies kept coming over so I'd stay out on Wednedsay night. Eventually, those subbies stopped coming but I'd still stay out.
This meant that our "Wednesday Night Thing" had turned into this: she'd stay home and rent movies--usually romantic comedies that I could do without--and I'd have my laptop at the local coffeeshop, writing for a few hours after work. So much for being big swinger, eh?
Even after we got married Wednesday nights were still our time to have away from each other -- everyone needs their space, right? I would kid myself that, if I wanted to, I could go out and tom cat around that evening and the Mrs. wouldn't mind. That's not necessarily the case.
We don't have the open relationship we once had, nor do I have carte blanche to fuck around -- though I still do on occasion. I need to stop kidding myself that I still have what we once proposed.
I miss my Wednesday nights.