Aug 30, 2009

A Hard Limit

One of my hard limits is "no abandonment." I can take a lot of things but just can't handle being ignored. Go ahead and tell me that you hate me. I can take that. Tell me that you don't think I'm a good friend. I can take that, too. But please don't cut me out of your life and expect me to guess why I've been put out in the doghouse. I'm just not that smart.

It's refreshing, in a way, to find out after four years why I've been bounced out of the life of one of my former friends. In the meantime I've been reaching out, trying to contact her all to no avail. She's been insulated by one of her slaves who would occasionally tersely respond to emails with an impolite "go away" but no explanation as to why. I thought perhaps it was jealousy.

No, apparently it was orders. It took four years but I finally wore down the wall and got a response from my old friend directly without being funneled through her slave.

Now my mind is boggled. Why am I persona non grata? Because I got a call out of the blue all those years ago asking me to come help her pack and I my schedule wouldn't allow it. That slight apparently ended our friendship. It's good to know after all this time.

All those conversations, the hours we spent together--the intimate times and the mundane, going out to lunch like two normal human beings, even trying to help her get a job. All of that undone because I couldn't come running when she called after months of radio silence. Apparently I valued our friendship a lot more than she did. That's very sad but it's satisfying to finally learn just how petty of a reason for abandoning me this has been.

Addendum: I tried to be fairly respectable in this post and not mention any names but that doesn't seem to be working well due to some feedback being given here.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Because you think you can hide the truth by deleting the writing on one site:

You contacted Her after 4 years of you dropping off the face of the earth because you read She was moving. I answered messages because She didn't have time and you wanted alone time with Her when She didn't even have enough time in Her schedule to have alone time with friends of Her's who took the time to help Her. You wanted private attention and were pushy and rude when you didn't get it and rejected the opportunity to even say "goodbye". This makes you "that" guy that FemDommes hate dealing with, you're all about what you want and what you don't get, rather than showing true concern for what's going on in Her life. You were not abandoned, you were rejected.

You were a client who was graced a few moments of personal time on IM...you went out to lunch once in Her recollection and one more time with someone else She knows. That's it. You were not intimate on any level past that. You were not intimate friends by any stretch of the imagination.

Finally, there is no insulation on my part. MsKitty owns this boi and I filter messages as SHE has assigned to me. All messages are approved by Her if not dictated by Her. You failed to live up to Her standard of those She keeps close to Her, that has nothing to do with me other than I have succeeded in living up to that standard. This insinuation that I "insulate" MsKitty only further proves how little you know of Her, as She does damn well what She wants and has plenty of a mind of Her own.

This "abandonment" post is the petty, final chapter in this mess.

Not buying this for a second, or remaining silent about a lie,

MsKitty's boi

Porno Person said...

It's difficult to find the truth here.

More than anyone, you should know that I tried to contact her more than once over the last four years. I've gotten scads of responses from you via collarme, fetlife, etc. I try to ping her once every six months or so in hopes of talking.

She was never one of those people to keep in frequent communication even when she lived a few miles away. I'd go for months without hearing a thing. The same goes for the last time I heard from her -- no contact in months but then I get a call out of the blue asking me to come down and help her pack one weekend. I wasn't able to make it and apparently that was the end of our friendship. That's what I consider petty.

Continuing to set the record straight - we had lunch at least two times together and hung out a few more times than that (no money exchanged). Apparently these times meant more to me than her. I can understand that. I was never that memorable. I'm sorry that I put more value on our friendship than she did.

Go ahead and "set the record straight" on Fetlife. I was trying to come to grips with my own feelings -- not naming names -- and you feel the need to contradict me. That's fine but I'd just appreciate you know the facts before stepping into a situatiuon you little-to-nothing about.

I hate being put into this position as I feel like I'm coming off as creepy and stalkerism, a whiney victim. What's worse is that you're stepping into this like you know what you're talking about. You weren't there. I've never met you. So please don't take this tone like you know who I am or what I'm about.

Anonymous said...

I've been in Her life for the last three years. You went to lunch with Her once by Herself and once with friend of Her's. No more. Any other time you physically saw Her was paid time. anything else other than IM time, you've begun to confuse reality with your own fantasy. You were a client. One who over stepped his bounds and wants to cry "abandonment" rather than rejection based on your poor behavior and inability to respect boundaries.

You never got a call to help pack. You sent a message on collarme shortly before we moved trying to see Her privately before the move, overrating your importance. You were told distinctly that She did not have personal time and if you wanted to see Her you could come to the open house while She visited with Her friends or help pack.

I have been filtering Her collarme account since it was created two and a half years ago, because She had me create it. You did not once in the last three years try to contact Her prior to the contact YOU made just before we moved.

Seriously, get some help distinguishing fantasy from reality.

MsKitty's boi

Ms. Lydia said...

Wah wah wah... 'Porno Person' has never come across as pushy, ungrateful, or anything harsh/unkind to Me and he's been sessioning with Me for quite a few years now. He's always been respectful, even when I didn't have the time to session him.

I've even noticed that he'll still be respectful to dommes that are jerks to him by still capitalizing their names when he types them.

I will defend him because I know that he is a good submissive and he's worthy of being fair to.

Ms. Lydia

Porno Person said...

@MsKitty's boi: I hope you understand how upsetting it can be to think that you're someone's friend only to be told that you're nothing more than an ungrateful client. I suppose that the intimate nature of ProDomming can lead to this pitfall. I'm generally fairly good about knowing when someone wants to move beyond just a simple ProDomme/client relationship -- apparently I was deluded in this case. It's something I definitely need to work on as a misinterpretation can lead to some hurt feelings on both sides.

I simply wish that I could say that my feelings were hurt and have it end there without the bickering and need to "call me out" as being an unworthy client or unstable person.

I'll work at not living in any kind of fantasy world, though that world seems to be far more kind than reality.

Batsy said...

I find it hilarious that this "Mistress" has yet to actually speak for her damn self.
...and this boi feels the need to whine and cry all over the internet. so much so it PMs me on FetLife. Like I give a rat's ass what it thinks.

Some people can't just let people have their own feelings..blah blah. like i said, if she/it can't deal with the repercussions of interacting with someone she should get out of this business.

Louis, I don't know how you hook up with these ladies which such a skewed sense of self importance.

I mean I understand me, I'm just hot. but this other bitch well... hrm. LOL.

Laters.
<3
Batsy

Anonymous said...

After doing as much research as the internet allows on all parties involved in this spat--what can I say, it caught my interest--I'd like to reassure Louis that this seems like a clear cut case of sour grapes. It's easier for 23 year old boijen to belittle and discredit you than to possibly fathom that life existed for anyone else while she was a teen. Ms Kitty is getting what she deserves by putting her affairs in the hands of a brat.